I was offended by the tone of voice, but I listened anyway. I listened and watched helplessly as my hand went down and the bidding went up and up and up, climaxing at $900 for the photograph of a boat and a cute little man tying the rigging! Surely I could have bought most of a boat of my own for that money. (And maybe some cute little man to boot!) But what a cute and famous little man! And that is the point. But wait. I am not finished with my story. There were still those lonesome taps to consider. Even if I couldn't look at Mr. Cagney himself, maybe this way I could watch him dance. (Even if it was only in my mind's eye!)

I grabbed a bite to eat after the morning sale and returned to the church, determined to own a piece, however small, of Mr. James Cagney. And then it happened again. Those lonesome taps in search of shoes came up for sale. The catalogue estimated $75-$100. Guess what they went for? 350 smackeroos! And guess who didn't buy them?

As sad a tale as this is, I did learn my lesson. When the estate of Jackie Onassis went on sale I stayed away, not even barely tempted to view the extravagant pickings. And from what I understand everything was quite inflated and a lot of people were unhappy with the prices that many of her personal items garnered. I wonder if she had any dirty socks. Did a lady like her ever even wear socks? If so, were they ever dirty? I don't know. I won't say I don't care. I'll just say that I admit that I can't afford her socks or anyone else's, except maybe Kay-Mart's!

Did you know . . .